Category Archives: Harry Potter

When everyone sees through the bragging and suddenly you’re in deep doo doo.

“Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” by J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré –

““Just the man,” he said. “The very man. A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Taken into the Chamber of Secrets itself. Your moment has come at last.”

Lockhart blanched.

“That’s right, Gilderoy,” chipped in Professor Sprout. “Weren’t you saying just last night that you’ve known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?”

“I — well, I —” sputtered Lockhart.

“Yes, didn’t you tell me you were sure you knew what was inside it?” piped up Professor Flitwick.

“D-did I? I don’t recall —”

“I certainly remember you saying you were sorry you hadn’t had a crack at the monster before Hagrid was arrested,” said Snape. “Didn’t you say that the whole affair had been bungled, and that you should have been given a free rein from the first?”

Lockhart stared around at his stony-faced colleagues. “I — I really never — you may have misunderstood —”

“We’ll leave it to you, then, Gilderoy,” said Professor McGonagall. “Tonight will be an excellent time to do it. We’ll make sure everyone’s out of your way. You’ll be able to tackle the monster all by youself. A free rein at last.”

Lockhart gazed desperately around him, but nobody came to the rescue. He didn’t look remotely handsome anymore. His lip was trembling, and in the absence of his usually toothy grin, he looked weak-chinned and feeble.”

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Because a “Get Well” card is the perfect time to remind everyone AGAIN of your accomplishments

“Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” by J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré –

““To Miss Granger, wishing you a speedy recovery, from your concerned teacher, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award.””

Trump loves to tell everyone how “really rich” he is because that’s the only thing he has going for him. Ignore the fact that he’s declared bankruptcy like 4 times and he and his companies either have been sued or have sued approximately 3000 times. Lockhart’s one spell to take on Cornish Pixies failed during his lesson plan!

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That time some guy says that evil goes away because he is in charge

“Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” by J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré –

“Gilderoy Lockhart seemed to think he himself had made the attacks stop. Harry overheard him telling Professor McGonagall so while the Gryffindors were lining up for Transfiguration.

“I don’t think there’ll be any more trouble, Minerva,” he said, tapping his nose knowingly and winking. “I think the Chamber has been locked for good this time. The culprit must have known it was only a matter of time before I caught him. Rather sensible to stop now, before I came down hard on him.

(I added the emphasis.)

Trump seems to think ISIS will cease to exist when he becomes President. That magical harmony will erupt between police and minorities. That we will all kiss his feet in gratitude…

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A lesson in humanity:

Bad guys mock people.

“Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” by J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré –

“Malfoy started taking pictures with an imaginary camera and did a cruel but accurate impression of Colin: “‘Potter, can I have your picture, Potter? Can I have your autograph? Can I lick your shoes, please, Potter?’””

Here’s Hillary’s “Role Model” commercial so we can see some of the times Trump has mocked others. Can anyone share an example of Hillary mocking someone?

The braggart teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.

This sounds a bit too much like Trump:

“Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” by J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré –

““Hands on?” said Harry, who was trying to grab a pixie dancing out of reach with its tongue out. “Hermione, he didn’t have a clue what he was doing —”

“Rubbish,” said Hermione. “You’ve read his books — look at all those amazing things he’s done —”

“He says he’s done,” Ron muttered.”

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“Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” by J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré –

““See what I have become?” the face said. “Mere shadow and vapor . . . I have form only when I can share another’s body . . . but there have always been those willing to let me into their hearts and minds. . . .”

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