Monthly Archives: September 2017


I thought of you when I read this quote from “Stars of Fortune (The Guardians Trilogy Book 1)” by Nora Roberts –

““Whenever you’re sad or afraid, I’ll be there. This moment, and all the ones after.” He drew her back to look in her eyes. “Love is a serious business for me, fáidh. A serious and lasting business. I give you my oath, heart and body, love, loyalty, and fidelity. They’re yours, first and last.” 

It stopped her heart, stopped it so it could beat stronger again. Not only love, she realized, but a pledge. He pledged himself to her. 

“Will you give me yours?” She thought she’d known joy, but here was joy with a promise.

 “Yes, I give you my oath, heart and body, love, loyalty, and fidelity. They’re yours, first and last.””
For me, this is the start of a marriage. Not a silly wedding. Few couples EVER get properly married in my humble opinion.

Start reading this book for free:

Good: The Joy of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood–Introduction

​For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus, (Galatians 3: 27-28) 

This text is helpful for our purposes. It doesn’t mean that the gospel wipes out manhood and womanhood. It does mean that our fundamental reality in life is our identity in Jesus Christ.

Hmm…If there IS male and female, that would also mean that there is not only Jew and Greek, but also slave and free. I don’t see how you can have one pairing without having all.

We are not free to choose our sexual predilections.

I agree! But these authors seem to think that people choose to be LGBTQ. I hope no offense is taken when I say that I would not choose to be a lesbian. Just as I wouldn’t expect a lesbian to choose to be straight.

I love how earlier they stated that masculinity and femininity aren’t based on any stereotypes, but that men are leaders and women are followers. Dress and actions don’t matter. Well, we’ll see how long it takes for someone to say that boys should play rough sports while girls cook.

Actually, upon further reflection, if all that matters is that boys lead while girls follow, then what does sexual preference and gender roles have to do with anything? Making a boy lead when he’s not a natural born leader is every bit as artificial as making a boy look like a boy because he was born with a penis. I feel like that comes across as insensitive–ladies, I don’t care if you were born with a penis, you are welcome in the bathroom with me so long as we have separate stalls (because I don’t even want my hubby looking at me when I’m on the toilet, let alone anyone else, male, female, other, whatever!) ☺. If God designed boys to lead, then a boy who doesn’t have a desire to lead obviously isn’t a boy (just pointing out the stupidity of this argument).

Don’t try to become something you’re not. Embrace who God made you to be…

Strange, all that talk about how it’s ridiculous that mere humans think that they are capable of doing anything and being whomever they want to be, only to finish the chapter with the story of a boy who is (severely) disabled learning to walk because of the willfulness of his adoptive father. Looking past the supposition that the child is being abused by not having his disability respected, we’re left with a child being taught that despite his body saying that he’s not capable of walking, through willpower alone, he can defy the limitations he was born with. I thought this chapter was about accepting the fact that if you are born with a penis, you are expected to be a leader, fall in love with a woman and have more children than you can afford. Apparently being born with a disability is different than being born with a penis when it comes to defining your destiny.

Good: The Joy of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood–Chaper 1

So…apparently manhood is about more than leadership ability…

And the Bible says that both men and women are usually required to display both masculine and feminine characteristics throughout their lives, depending on the situation. Our author for this chapter agrees that this is “the healthiest examples of humans”.

I guess it’s okay for men to act female, so long as it’s not too frequently and only as long as it’s necessary. The same for women.

I feel like it’s going to be tough to actually pinpoint the difference between men and women.

Ahh…there’s a formula! Maleness + masculine behavior = manhood.

Snerk…I think we’re going to go through this entire chapter without reading the word penis. Oh yes, there is plenty of bouncing around the subject, but the closest our male author can say is “the male anatomy is different from the female anatomy. I hope that doesn’t shock you.”

Actually, what shocks me is that this book is all about sexuality and yet our authors are squeamish about technical terms. Yes, men have penis’ and women have vaginas.

On a side note, I love how certain types of people insert the word “the” in front of any term that makes them uncomfortable. The Gays. The Female Anatomy. The Blacks. It just sounds weird to me and I’m the person who had an epiphany about the word “the” while listening to my dad read The Call of the Wild when I was in 1st grade. I declared that my writing would be changed forever because of this important word.

Gack!! “Males have male parts and females have female parts, and they always will, unless some unnatural inhibition occurs” (my emphasis) which is why more than just anatomy matters. ERM…so being born a hermaphrodite is an unnatural inhibition?!? That’s insulting both to the God that made such an event possible (if you believe in God) and to the baby that definitely didn’t choose to be formed that way. Unless this moron thinks that the baby is Satan’s spawn that needs to be exterminated?

Snerk. The “societal perspective” of maleness. Apparently even though what is decidedly male or female has changed over the centuries, supposedly it averages out to where everyone knows what is male and what is female and there is no in between.

First, men used to be the primary wearer of high heeled shoes. Secondly, pink was the color for boys because of it’s relation to red, a masculine color. Thirdly, up until about the 1930s, all children, boys and girls were dressed alike in dresses up until the age of 3 or so; dresses because it made changing diapers easier, dressed in the same clothes to save money on baby clothes.

Fourthly, there are a number of cultures around the world which had more than 2 genders. This third (or fourth) gender could have been totally respected or was relegated to the shadows or had a place somewhere in between; it all depended on the specific culture.

What’s most baffling for me is that this author would risk including “societal perspective” as evidence for what makes a man a man since there are so many complaints about modern Americans normalizing the LGBTQ community. If they took a poll, I think most people would say that manhood is more than what is between a person’s legs.

Which, by the way, makes this even funnier! I mean the argument is that solely by looking at a (clothed) person, society has the capability to declare that person male or female. I actually agree with this! If a person looks, talks, and acts like a man, they belong in the men’s room, even if they were born with a vagina! The same with someone who looks, acts, and sounds like a woman belongs in the ladies room!

Hmm…Paul said that it’s disgraceful for men to have long hair (…because that makes him look like a woman). Uhh, I’m not a Biblical Scholar by any stretch of the imagination, but wasn’t it Sampson who got his strength through his long hair? By this argument, Delilah should be praised for re-masculating Sampson when she cut his hair!

Yes, men feel like they are men. And women feel like they are women. Yes, transgender people are what happens when the outside doesn’t match the inside.

So…um…apparently we’re just going to leave off there as though this explains everything about maleness. But that doesn’t work! What should a person do when these 3 aspects aren’t in agreement?! If a person is born with a vagina, but feels like they are male, is he supposed to just suck it up and present to the world as female even as it causes him to die a little on the inside everyday? Who exactly is harmed when a transperson presents themselves as their preferred gender? The bystander who assumes that they were born with a penis, even though they weren’t? I really don’t spend that much time staring at people’s crotches!

If God cares, then God can send trans people to Hell. But, I personally think that God doesn’t care or he wouldn’t have created LGBTQ people to start with!

The best reaction

I very rarely dress up. Like, pretty much never.

But last night, hubby and I went to the visitation for his childhood mentor/second dad and I decided to try out an outfit that I thought would work. It is a little black dress, very simple A-Line cut, sleeveless. I actually found this dress in his house when I moved in, so yes, it was probably one of his exes’, but he doesn’t remember it. I hate sleeveless stuff, so  I put on a long sleeved dress white shirt over top. I finished with my c.2005 ankle boots (very square toe).

Hubby was running late like usual (he’d gone out to help a friend) and though he’d stopped to talk to  me before going to the bedroom, I’d been sitting with my back to him. I followed him to the bedroom while he talked. He was totally preoccupied with the pants I’d pulled out for him to wear, not looking at me even as I stood in the doorway talking to him.

I just waited patiently for him to look at me and he did not disappoint. He stopped mid-sentence at me and he was quiet for a few seconds. I really couldn’t have asked for a better reaction and I’m glad I waited for the  real  reaction rather than telling him to look at me.

This is why you should never rush the punchline of anything. It’s always worth it to wait for the perfect moment.